did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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