You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize