Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
