i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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