How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize