this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
