You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
