The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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