you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
