I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
