After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
