Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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