im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
