I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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