I smell stomach acid.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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