Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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