my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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