We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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