the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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