why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize