Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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