New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
only if we run a train.
done.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
