it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I FOUND THE LEGS
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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