We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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