I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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