Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
