sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
