So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
