i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
