Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
