um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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