I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
