Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize