It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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