He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
