Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
