Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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