In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
