What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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