are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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