We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
