Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
