just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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