Pappa wants mamma naked
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
