I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
