I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
