Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
