Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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