i already hear my dad disowning me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize