That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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