Jerry, you need to find god
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
