Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
