sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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