So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
