It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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