Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
