FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
