Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
