He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
