My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
