that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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