The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
