my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
