She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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