just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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