okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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