yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm at about main and main street
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
